Finding her place!

This year Alyssa found something she felt part of. Well in all actuality it was the people she met who made her feel she belonged. Each year we go to Valley Scare during the Halloween season. Pretty much we go every weekend. Well this year she found some people who worked for the park, actors, actors who are there to scare. Alyssa of course wasn’t scared though, Alyssa found a group called “The Demon Corps“. I know they may sound scary but they are in fact the opposite of that. They are compassionate. They just took her in to their ranks and made her feel part of something special.

Here is how it all began:
1st and 2nd visit:
It was like no other normal day at “Valley Scare“. But something about the people in these pictures stood out to her. She gravitate to them. She wasn’t afraid, she just went for it. Shy at first but then opening up.

the-beginning

You can see she is in her pink shirt the first day she. That guy right there in that first picture, Yup, his name is Nick better known as “Clicks“. Then the next weekend she met the Gypsy fortune tellers who told her to stay true to herself and keep doing her thing, she adored them. Then that same night she watched “The Demon Corps” show. The Demon Corps is a group of friends who are the sliders of Valley Scare. They have their knee pads, steal toes and metal on their gloves.. They run up and drop down sliding to and from scaring the crap out of people left and right. But not Alyssa..

3rd visit:
This visit, Alyssa went with her own knee pads, and duct tape on her shoes… She also was waiting patiently for a sweatshirt from the corp.

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She was prepared. She went to Valley Scare ready to be one of them. Here she is getting her sweat shirt from the group.. I think this moment hit me pretty good. To see her reaction when she got it and to see her confidence uplifted was an accomplishment in the making. Seeing how when she put the makeup on she felt she could speak up, walk tall and be proud was an amazing feeling.

You can see her in action right here..

Weekday work time:
This happened to be during the week of MEA weekend so there was no school on Thursday and Friday. This means its go to work with mom days! She sure was prepared too. She brought her colors and paper and she made the group a picture. This picture had a personal drawing of each member of the group (Clicks, Giggles, Raven, Sly, Skitzo, Stitches,Sparkles, Scabs). She was so excited to give it to them!

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Now Alyssa is a very smart little girl, She tries to do everything just right. By this I mean when she sets her sites on something, she normally will get it done. So true to herself she took it upon herself at first to find the materials to make the gloves this group of amazing people had. She went to her dads tool box looking for anything she could try and put onto a glove. Finally dad stepped in and took over. He figured it out and went to work making her very own pair of sliding gloves.. Minus flint!

Final night:
As the days passed for Alyssa all she could think about and talk about was The Demon Corps. She corrected us when we said a name wrong or talked about how they were sliding. This kid memorized everything. She practiced in the driveway, she looked on YouTube for makeup ideas. She took my phone to look at Instagram to see their pictures. She said they were a part of her now. She knew what she wanted to do whens he got older.

So we took her to the last night of Valley Scare for the year. We walked around and of course she walked tall, she had her makeup, her metal shoes and gloves, she had her hoodie and she had her friends. She felt amazing and I felt amazing knowing my kid who doesn’t have many friends, my kid who struggles with relationships and boundaries, my kid who doesn’t have a place of her own. Yeah, my kid now feels she does. Even if its for a few weekends out of the year.

last-show

These are the people who accepted her faults, They put up with her stalking, and they let her in. These are the people who let her be part of the show even in the background. The pictures are not great but the feeling is.

The Demon Corps

Final night with her people!

This is her last picture. Her sad face says it all.. But the memories will always be there for her.

Here is my side note to anyone with a kid in Minnesota with a disability. Check out this groups Facebook page. Like it and check up. See when they will be out and about doing things. They are 100% amazing and I trust them wholeheartedly. If they can make my kid feel a part of something that is real to her then they can make your kids feel special too!

Bullying and your rights

I’m just going to put this out there because at the current time my son is going through this. Since October 8th of this year he has been bullied by a child at school and this child’s friends. HERE you can see the day he was assaulted by the child and since that day has endured ridicule, teasing, threats and more.

No Bullying (1)

I myself have gone to the school as well as my son has gone to the Principle and assistant Principle. Nothing has changed. Nothing is being accomplished. So here are the steps to take to get the ball rolling when your child is being bullied. (Well the steps I take anyways)

  • Go to http://www.stopbullying.gov/laws/federal/ and read up on what the Federal Laws are.
  • Go to your State on that first page of the Federal site and read up on your state laws. Ours happens to be Minnesota. http://www.stopbullying.gov/laws/minnesota.html
  • Print out both Federal and State laws. Highlight the areas that pertain to your child being bullied
  • Write down every incident, Keep detailed notes of who you spoke to and when bout each incident and what was told to you.
  • If it continues. Go over the school itself head and contact the Superintendent of your district, be sure you have all your notes.
  • If that doesn’t work, file a restraining order. Yes you can get restraining orders for unwanted acts. Even against children. My son was assaulted so that defiantly warrants a restraining order.
  • Get involved in your community to bring attention to bullying and let it be known you won’t stand for it and will help others if needed.
  • See if there are other recourses in your area. Minnesota has School Safety Technical Assistance Center, They help schools develop programming and intervention practices to deal with bullying, and should be able to reach out to your child’s school to resolve the bullying.

I am not a parent who will stand by and let my child fear going to school. I have heard from others in the school (people who work there) that my son isn’t not the same, that he is quiet, he is reserved now and always watching his surroundings. This is not OK with me and I will be his advocate 100% until something is done. Don’t let your child be a victim to bullying. Listen to your children, watch for signs and talk to them.

Recess and Lunch with the Army!

Today my son got a very interesting surprise at his school. His big sister came to visit him for lunch. You are probably saying to yourself, ” no big deal, people have lunch with their family all the time at school”. Well this was no ordinary lunch.
Today my sons big sister brought some friends. Today was her day to stand up for her brother and let him know that he not only has her for support and friendship but her Cadre-family as well.
So she and a few of her Army unit personnel came to visit Jordan at his school. Jordan had no idea what was happening, just that out of no-where were 3 people dressed in uniform standing in the hallway front of his class, waiting to go out on the recess field and play some football. Was this exciting, of course it was,  there were kids everywhere who wanted to know why, who, where they came from, do they know someone? Then it was, WOW that’s Jordan’s sister and her friends……
Lunch was interesting, there were several questions from students pertaining to the military. There were a few stares and there was that nasty school lunch these tough guys wouldn’t even touch.

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These men and this sister didn’t have to do it, but one thing I have learned from my daughter joining the military, These people come together for more then just training, they come together to be part of something good. They are our strength, our hope and our future.. 

Bruises go away, feelings don’t.

Let me tell you a little bit about my son. He is 11 years old and he is one of the gentlest little men I know. He is caring and he is smart. He isn’t aggressive but he is one to stand up for his friends and what is right. He doesn’t do this in a bad way, instead he does it in a verbal way by simply asking why? (Why did you push him? Why would you say that? Why are you being mean?)

My son has ADHD, he is the class clown. His teachers find him to be a delight in their classrooms and find that he is always smiling and making others feel good.

Last week this all changed. Last week I got a call from the school saying that he had been in a fight. I was told at first that he and the other boy were both at fault, that they were both suspended because they both contributed to punches. Now being as my son has never been in trouble at school and the fact that he is timid and non-aggressive, I had to question this. I asked him what happened and he wasn’t sure, he said he couldn’t remember how it started (at first). I spoke with the assistant principle and she has said she spoke with a few witnesses who said my son had thrown the first punch. (Again this is not my son)

Later we went home, went to football practice and then came home, when we got home there were kids from the neighborhood who came to check up on my son, they were concerned, and they had a different story. Its goes something like this, its recess and the kids were playing football. One kid played then left and then came back to play again. At this point the kids who continued playing the game said that he could not join at that moment because they were in the middle of the game and the teams were set and scores made. The boy got angry and went to get a few of his other friends. One kid pushed another kid and then, they explained that my son simply asked a kid why he had pushed another kid that then turned into words being exchanged and then my son walking back to the door to go to lunch. As my son was walking back to the door, a kid chased my son and pushed him to the ground, he proceeded to kick him and the got on top of him and punched him several times in the face until a teacher pulled him off of my son.

Does this sound like my son was throwing punches? Does this sound like my son was the aggressor? No it sounds to me that my son walked away.

I have come to find out that the other child is the same child who bullied my son in 2nd grade, the same child who tried to make my son lick a toilet in the school bathrooms. The same child my sons 2nd grade teacher had called me about to let me know that it was happening and that they were keeping an eye on the situation.

Well, the day after my son was suspended I spoke with the assistant principle again. I brought it to her attention that there are several other witnesses who claim a completely different story, Finding out by those same kids that the AP actually only spoke with the friends of the aggressor and not the kids who were there part of it from the beginning. I gave her the names of the kids and the story line that was given to me by several of the students. At that time my son’s teacher chimed in and said remarkable things about my son and that she herself couldn’t imaging my son being part of this situation.

I must say that I felt good knowing that others see what I see in my son. A good, boy with a heart of gold. A friend till the end and someone who doesn’t think violence is the answer.

My son’s suspension was removed!

Moving forward to this week, my son is hurt, he is down, things are being said at school by other kids about him getting “OWNED” “WEAK” “Can’t fight”. These are the friends of the other kid and I know kids can be mean to begin with. The problem I am having is that my son is afraid to tell a teacher or the AP. He doesn’t want to get the kids in trouble because it will fall back on him and it will get worse.

My son came home from school yesterday and lifted weights for an hour, then ran on the treadmill for an hour and a half. He feels now that if he gets a little bigger they won’t pick on him, that maybe next time he can stand up for himself and not be stuck on the ground.

I don’t want my child to feel this way. I don’t want my child to be afraid. I don’t want my child to think this is how life is. I don’t teach my children to fight. While I have taught them that words don’t hurt, in all actuality they do. I am an adult, I can brush words off and go on but a child who wants friends, a child who wants everyone to like them doesn’t feel the same.

2015-10-08

While his bruises will fade and go away, his self-esteem is shattered and all I can do is be there to protect him and stand up for him when he is afraid to.

Note: Today I call the school about the words being said to my child and ask that something be done.

ADHD in a nutshell

In today’s world people either accept ADHD or they question ADHD.
Our family lives with ADHD and we have tried many approaches to it and how it effects our son. Here is a breakdown of what ADHD is and what someone with ADHD can expect.

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ADHD in a nutshell